Impossible
by AdamAddictsAnonymous
Summary: Five: Did some things you can't speak of. But tonight you live it all again. You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now, if only you had seen what you know now then.
1. Disgusting

As Bianca walked down the hall she saw some people look up and _smile_ at her. She was amazed that it still shocked her whenever someone seemed pleased to see her. Whenever she was absent the next day people in class would actually seem concerned. They wondered if she was sick, if anything was wrong and if there was anything they could do to help. Last year all of them wouldn't have given a crap about a junkie like her. They just assumed she was out drinking or something of that nature. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize exactly why they suddenly cared about her.

Adam Torres.

The boy she was currently dating, and also the boy's life she had made living hell. Every day she felt like she lived in a daze. When she admitted her feelings to him she never expected that he would _return_ them. There had been a rumor going around that he and his brother were fighting over Fiona Coyne. He admitted that he had a little crush on the rich socialite but it wasn't anything serious. Apparently he liked _her_, Bianca DeSousa, and that came as a shock to everyone. She made his life miserable yet he could still find it in himself to forgive her, to even go out with her.

Bianca was right there with them. Why would someone as sweet, kind, intelligent, caring, funny and amazing as Adam stoop as low as going out with her? The only thing she really had going for her was her looks, as well as her jewelry making but no one needed to know about that, and even that would go away with time. Eli, Clare and Drew didn't trust her intentions at first and she didn't blame them. If she was them she wouldn't let herself anywhere near Adam.

And that's exactly what she had been expecting. After Eli, Clare and Drew found out about the kiss and the fact they were still dating they approached the two at the Dot. Normally Bianca would've exploded at them and told them to 'fuck off', but being around Adam took away some of her bitchiness and made her less bitter and hateful then before. She just sat silently while Eli, Clare and Drew tried to talk some sense into the sophomore, as well as throw the occasional insult in Bianca's direction.

After a couple minutes of holding back the insults she wanted to hurl back at them she realized they were just trying to get her to get a reaction from her. They wanted to show Adam just how cruel she could be, which made it that much easier to hold her insults back. She knew how much it would displease Adam if she cussed out his friends and brother in the middle of a popular hangout. In the end it was Adam that had snapped and yelled at them, after a 'useless skank' had slipped from Drew's mouth. He grabbed her and they left.

At the end of the day she told him how badly she wanted to cuss them out and he had laughed in understand.

In no time at all they were all friends again and they grudgingly agreed to give Bianca a chance. After spending more and more time with them, and less time with Owen and Ron-Ron, Bianca actually was able to drop her guard and show a more caring side. This didn't seem to please her old football player friend because he approached her in the hall. Insults were thrown. 'Tranny-lover' 'Fucking Neanderthal' 'Lesbian', eventually a fight broke out between the two and it shocked everyone when they realized it had been Owen that threw the first punch. Owen; the homophobic football player that never laid a hand on a girl unless it was to do something sexual, had punched his best friend.

Apparently Bianca had made a comment snappy about 'homophobes being the ones that are normally homosexuals' and the stab at his sexuality had pushed him over the edge. Riley and Zane were the ones that eventually broke them up, and Bianca couldn't help but laugh at the irony. Owen dismissed Zane, telling him to 'never touch him unless he wanted to die' and stormed off down the hallway. Bianca knew that she would never be able to hang out with that crowd again. And if she ever showed her face at the Ravine she'd probably get beat.

Weeks went by and the two friends never spoke or even looked in each other's general direction. Adam had found out about the fight and wanted to go after Owen but Bianca held him back. It surprised her really; her holding someone back from a fight? But she didn't want him to get in hurt because she wasn't able to close her mouth. This also came as a shock to her since she never really cared about anyone getting hurt because of her before. Adam and Alli were two prime examples of that, yet there she was holding him back so he wouldn't get hurt again.

And one night Bianca had pondered over her sudden change in personality and image. She wasn't as slutty, she actually was _nice_ to people, had more friends than usual, stood up for LGBT people and defended people whenever Owen's little group would insult them. It all crashed down on her then. It was because of Adam Torres; the adorable little sophomore with the most innocent eyes she had ever seen, that she changed.

And she was pleased.

"_It's disgusting, how you've changed me, from a band_i_t to a bab_y_."_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi or the song lyric.

**Author's Notes:**

Don't deny it; you could totally see this happening. XD I've sort of fallen in love with the BiancaAdam couple (don't worry; I love FionaAdam as well) so this came to mind. It was inspired by Ke$ha/Miranda Cosgrove's song Disgusting. More precisely the lyric; 'it's disgusting, how you've changed me, from a bandit to a baby.'

The inspired this little one-shot (: And some other songs have sparked by inner BiancaAdam lover so this little fic is going to be little song-fics/one-shots centered on BiancaAdam. I know, I know; I really shouldn't do anymore of these fics but I can't help it XD I have so many plot-bunnies hopping around right now and I want to get them down.

Sorry for any OOCness (:

Love Me?

V


	2. Battlefield

Bianca took a long drag from her cigarette before flicking it onto the ground. Using her high top she stomped on it so it wouldn't get around the trash and start some large fire. She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, replaying the day's events in her mind.

Owen and Fitz would not leave Adam alone about his whole transgender problem. Sure; they pretended to act like his friend. At first they just wanted to tease the tranny about not having any friends since him and Goth boy were in a fight. But when he started talking about fight club they figured they could strike him right where it hurts; gender identify. That is why they approached her and told her there plan of getting him to fight her. At first she didn't agree; not wanting the object of affections to hate her more then he already did.

But after some persuasion she finally agreed to showing up. The minute she did she wished she could take it back. The confused and innocent look in his eyes when she walked in, the realization and hatred that filled them when he finally understood what they were getting at. They were basically telling him he wasn't a guy which is why he wasn't able to fight against the guys.

He proved them wrong when he kicked Fitz's ass, _twice_, but she could imagine how hurt he would be anyways. Especially since she had finally stopped being a little bitch about his _situation_; whatever ground they had covered was officially lost. And it was all because Fitz and Owen wouldn't just let her go off and do her own thing; they decided she had to tag along with them and make everyone's life living hell.

She enjoyed it at first; but now it was getting a bit ridiculous. She knew her sudden change of perspective was all because of Adam. Now that someone she cared about was getting bullied, she didn't exactly approve. But of course she'd never say anything like that. What would people think if they realized she was falling for the tranny?

She'd lose her bad girl reputation. All the respect, and fear, she had earned would vanish in an instant. _She'd_ be the one being teased, _not_ Adam. And she knew she should've jumped at the chance of stopping all his pain and humiliation, but she wouldn't be able to handle all the torment. People thought she was strong; but she figured she was the weakest person ever.

She kept people at a distance so they wouldn't hurt her. Talked crap and intimidated anyone she came in contact with. Whooped the heffer, Chantay's, ass in the alley by the Dot so that everyone would know not to mess with her. Immediately started being a bitch towards Adam so that no one would know her true feelings for the sophomore. Teased Dave, started a food fight, ditched class, got high; all to protect her image.

She didn't even know who her real self was anymore. And, as cheesy as it sounded, she felt a bit like her old self when she hung out with Adam. Shamelessly flirting, trying to control the butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her, act calm and tried not to stumble as the two danced. It was almost like she was a normal high-schooler; not the school bitch.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her curls and pushed herself away from the wall and started towards the front of the school. The last bell had rang and she figured it'd be safe to start walking home without worrying about getting caught ditching. Her eyes moved towards the picnic tables on their own accord and she saw Adam with Goth boy and the Saint. Sensing her gaze her looked up and froze, obviously remembered what had happened in the weight room. The Saint and Goth boy both turned to see what their friend was looking at. When they realized it was Bianca they glared, blaming her for all the crap she made Adam go through. She really couldn't blame them; she didn't have to rip his shirt open in the middle of the hallway.

It was her fault that Adam had been thrown through a door. That Drew and Fitz had fought and nearly got suspended. That Eli gotten Fitz back by tee-peeing his house and egging his car.

She had never meant to start this large war and get Adam hurt. It just seemed like she always ended up hurting the people she cared about the most. She'd never apologize for it though; because that would show a sign of weakness. And, once again, she wasn't ruining her image.

"_I never meant to start a war; you know I never want to hurt you."_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi D: or the song. The lyrics belong to the song Battlefield by Jordin Sparks.

**Author's Notes:**

I honestly have no idea where this came from… its _super_ late right now and I just threw something on the page so that I could update and show you guys I haven't given up on this little fic. I'll be updating everything this weekend since I have absolutely no plans at all (: I'll probably edit it in the morning~

Too lazy and tired to type anything else…

Love Me?

V


	3. Sometimes

"Fight, fight fight!" Bianca's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she turned her gaze in the direction of the large crowd. It seemed someone had started a fight, _again_. She wanted to just ignore it and finish up her homework, but her curiosity reared its ugly head and she marched over.

"Stop it; you're hurting him!" the painful shriek came from somewhere in the crowd and Bianca recognized the voice immediately. It was Fiona Coyne. She was actually crying about someone getting hurt, and there were few people she'd do that for. Holly J, Declan and Adam. Since she had shouted 'him' Holly J was out. Since Declan had went back to New York that left one person; Adam Torres. The thought of the sophomore getting in a fight sent her in a panic and she forced her way through the crowd.

Once she made it to the middle she saw Fiona sobbing and yelling for them to stop. Clare was next to her, covering her mouth with tears pouring from her eyes. Eli and Fitz were rolling around on the ground, trying to get some good hits in. Owen grabbed Adam from behind and threw him on the ground. Bianca winced when she saw Adam's head slam onto the ground but in an instant he was back up, trying to get Fitz off Eli and fending off Owen. Blood dripped down the side of his head and Bianca gulped.

"Stop!" Bianca shouted; surprised at how loud her voice was when she was frazzled. Fitz froze in the process of slamming his fist into Eli's face and both boys looked up at her. Owen and Adam even froze as well to turn to look at her. Bianca would've laughed at how cartoony it seemed, but she was too damn panicked. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" everyone watched, frozen in shock, as Bianca grabbed Fitz by his shirt and ripped him off of the Goth. She also grabbed Owen and pulled him away from Adam as well, successfully placing herself in between the fighters.

"Tranny deserves it for running his mouth," Owen spat. His glare settled on Adam, who was helping Eli up. Fiona and Clare rushed towards the two boys, making sure they were ok. Bianca resisted the urge to roll her eyes; wondering why they hadn't tried to stop it while it was going on.

"Fuck off." Adam snapped to Fiona's horror. Owen's nostrils flared and he made to charge at the sophomore again but Bianca held him back.

"Enough!" she said forcefully, her gaze flickering over to the other boys. Eli's lip was busted open and a bruise was forming under his right eye. Adam had blood dripping from his temple, his own busted lip and a black eye forming. Fitz and Owen hardly had any bruises of scrapes on them. "Are you two insane?" she hissed.

"Come on Eli," Clare said, after she checked out his face to see if anything else was wrong. Eli shot another glare in Fitz and Owen's direction before allowing his girlfriend to drag him away. Fiona grabbed Adam's arm, not noticing him flinch because her glare was direction at Bianca.

"Come on Adam." She said, mimicking Clare and pulling him away. Bianca stared after them, trying to beat down the jealousy that rose in her at how Fiona was allowed to touch him whenever she wanted. Why couldn't the rich socialite just fall off the face of the earth? She hoped Adam would be ok.

"If I didn't know any better, Bee, I'd think you actually cared about the tranny…" Owen said cautiously and Fitz snapped to attention. Bianca tried to control her racing heartbeat and scoffed.

"That's ridiculous. Me, liking that freak?" She lied, swallowing the lump that rose in her throat. Whenever Adam was mentioned she always lost her ability to think clearly. And whenever anyone brought up her feelings towards the sophomore she'd have to lie. The truth was; she did like the little sophomore. He was kind, thoughtful, trustworthy, funny and selfless. He was like no other guy she'd ever come into contact with, and it just so happened he was biologically female. No way would she ever admit to liking a tranny. "I just didn't want you idiots getting suspended again."

"_Sometimes I lie; but doesn't everybody?"_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi D: or lyrics. The song is Sometimes by Melanie Horsnell (:

**Author's Notes:**

LOOOVEE this song (: It's my second favorite song; my favorite is Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage The Elephant. I, once again, don't have a lot to say right now :P

The next song-fic is going to have lyrics from I Got You by Leona Lewis. Ashley (BeRightThere) told me about the song and it's inspired me to right a little AdamBianca one shot about it(:

Love Me?

V


	4. I Got You

Bianca stood in the center of the room, practicing her leaps and turns in a feeble effort to keep her mind off the boy who broke her heart. Maybe if she could leap a little farther or turn a little faster he'd leave that rich bitch and come back to her. But of course that would never happen, Fiona Coyne was the picture of perfection and no one would willingly dump the socialite. It just wasn't fair. Fiona Coyne got whatever she wanted with the snap of her fingers, and Bianca couldn't even have just a little happiness. Didn't she deserve happiness?

She laughed bitterly, which made her land wrong and crash onto the ground. Of course she didn't deserve any happiness; she was Bianca friggin DeSousa. A bitch that made it her job to ruin everyone else's lives; why should she get any happiness? Adam had every right to stomp her heart into a million pieces and go after the richer brunette. All she had done was ruin his life. Rip open his shirt and announce to the world that he was biologically female. Tell Fitz and Owen so they would throw him through a glass door.

Tears pricked the corner of her eyes but she forced them back with a loud sniffle. It would be so much easier to blame Adam if he wasn't so fantastic. If he hadn't started the relationship and hadn't been the most awesome boyfriend ever. If he hadn't dealt with her random mood swings and bitchy attitude twenty four seven. Why couldn't he have been another jerk like all the men her mother dated?

Memories slowly pushed their way to the front of her mind before she could force them back. And why should she force them back? She had every right to mope around about a lost relationship. About having her heart stomped on by the one boy in the world she had actually cared about. With this newfound realization she finally let the tears fall freely. No one was there to see her so she had nothing to hide.

So she just sat like that, her ankle throbbing from the fall and tears pouring from her eyes. If anyone walked in the door they'd see just how far Bianca had fallen; how pathetic she looked. How _heartbroken_ the heartbreaker looked.

Oh the irony.

She wondered if he'd chat with his friends and new _girlfriend_ about what he had done. How he'd finally gotten her back for all the pain she made that group go through. Then they'd all laugh about the fact that he'd broken her; that someone had actually broken Bianca DeSousa. He had done the impossible.

But she told herself she'd be fine; it wasn't like he was her world (_lies_). She could throw herself into her dancing once again. Work up the courage to sign up for the dance recital and blow them all away. Or maybe she'd turn back into the old Bianca that had random flings and didn't give a crap about anyone. She'd bring random boys to the Boiler Room and with each guy she could slowly turn into her mother.

It could work; KC was free.

_Go ahead and say goodbye; I'll be alright. Go ahead and make me cry; I'll be alright._

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi D: or the lyrics; the belong to the song I Got You by Leona Lewis(:

**Author's Notes:**

Aww; me and my angst(: I'm probably going to do a sequel to this with another song I have in mind (:

I'm so tired and lazy that I don't really know what else to put here D: Tomorrow I'll be going back to school (finally) and I'm going to have soooo much work to make up… which means I'll have soooo much work that I won't do and instead I'll be updating (: It's going to be a long week :P

I'd like to thank BeRightThere (Ashley) for the song idea :D

Love Me?  
V


	5. Innocent

Adam stood by the drink table and sipped away at the (probably) spiked punch. His eyes were glued to the girl in the red dress who, as much as he hated to admit it, was not Fiona. The two had had the perfect relationship for a month now but Adam, regrettably, still felt something for Bianca. He told himself it was just the after-effects of their relationship, but he hated seeing her throwing herself over another guy. He especially hated seeing her get drunk and slowly morph back to her old ways. When they had been in their relationship she had stopped because she knew it upset him; but apparently she didn't care anymore.

Now she was drunk and throwing herself all over some random senior on the dance floor. She was too wasted to notice his hands were traveling over areas _way_ too inappropriate for a school dance. Or maybe she wasn't wasted and just didn't care… the last possibility made Adam's stomach turn. He knew she had more self-respect then she let on but still used guys to get over her problems. Silently he wondered what her problems were now. If maybe her alcoholic father had returned and was beating on her mom again. Or, maybe, she was just as upset over the breakup as he was.

Sure; he had been the one to leave her but that didn't mean he didn't still have feelings for the girl. He just couldn't handle all the glares that were sent in her direction, how her group of friends had kicked her out for being with the 'tranny'. She acted like none of it bothered her, but he knew how hard it was to not be accepted with the people you cared about. He figured it'd be the best for both of them, and maybe he'd be able to give Fiona a chance. It wasn't like he didn't have feelings for the socialite, because he did. He had a crush on her ever since he really got to know her.

But he cared for Bianca more, and that killed him.

"Adam!" Fiona's voice shouted over the pounding bass. She made her way over to him, turning heads in her stunning blue dress. His heart stopped when he saw her and he forced himself to _not_ compare her to Bianca. "Dance with me!" he forced a smile and nodded. He happened to be a very good dancer; and it was all because of Bianca.

Shoot; there he went thinking about her again when he told himself not to. Almost unconsciously his eyes traveled over towards his ex, who was still dangling from the random guys shoulders. His eyes narrowed when the guy started whispering in his ear; was the idiot going to try to take advantage of her when she was drunk? But just like that she pushed him away and he told himself not to think about her anymore. He was with Fiona and Bianca could handle herself.

_**xxxxxxx**_

He couldn't find her. After a few wild dances with his friends he made his way back to the drink table and didn't notice Bianca anywhere. What made him panic even more was the fact that the random guy she had been with was gone as well.

He would try anything at a school dance, would he? It wasn't like they were on school property. It was prom, which meant Degrassi had to go all out and rent a ballroom from a nearby hotel. The students weren't allowed to go anywhere past the first level and they had a million guards everywhere. Since Vegas Night Adam was actually happy with all the extra precautions; he just hoped they were enough to help Bianca.

"Hey dude; what's up?" Eli asked; his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched his friend's eyes snap around the entire ballroom.

"Hey Eli; how many security guards are there?" Adam blurted randomly when, after a second sweep of the room, he still hadn't found Bianca or the random guy. Eli still watched him, confused as to where the question had come from.

"Um… probably ten? I honestly don't know dude… what's got your superhero undies in a bunch?" he smiled slyly and made an attempt at a joke but Adam ignored him completely. Ten wasn't good enough.

"I have to go," he breathed, just as Clare and Fiona made their way over to them. He bolted towards the door, weaving through the gyrating bodies with ease. Finally he made it to the exit and took a deep breath, cooling off after being in the intense heat for so long. They couldn't have gotten that far without a guard. And if the guy was trying to take advantage of Bianca, which Adam knew he was; a guard would definitely stop them. His eyes fell on a door labeled staircase and he easily pushed his way through. The stairs led to the basement, but he didn't have to go far before he heard the voices.

"I said _fuck off_." That was definitely Bianca's voice.

"Oh come on; don't be like that." Adam's eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists. He started down the stairs, taking them two at a time when he heard a loud thud.

"Get off!" Bianca shouted and Adam whirled around the landing. At the basement level he saw the guy grab Bianca's face and smash his lips to hers. She made a growling noise and her foot slammed out, narrowly avoiding his man area.

"Stupid little bitch," the guy snapped and smacked Bianca upside the head.

"Hey; leave her alone!" Adam shouted, just as the guy grabbed at her dress. He spun around; eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights and took a step back.

"Whoa man; she came onto me first."

"You clearly don't know the meaning of 'get off'." Adam snapped; his intense glare fixated on the taller boy.

"It's not my fault she's some teasing slut," the guy spat. Adam's fist struck out and slammed into his face.

"Get the hell out of my sight." Adam seethed. The guy gave a menacing glare before turning and heading toward the stairs. Adam planned to have a word with Mr. Simpson and the police about that particular party go-er, but at the time his main priority was making sure Bianca was ok. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, reaching out to help her up. He'd never seen her so broken before. Her makeup smudged, a sort of dazed look on her face and her strap hanging off her shoulders.

"Get away from me," she snapped, pushing his arms away and attempting to get up herself. Adam stepped back, shocked for a second before he quickly collected himself.

"The guy's gone…" he said and she sent a withering glare in his direction.

"Yeah; I know. I was handling it before you came along." Adam's temper flared and he wanted to say 'yeah; it sure looked like it' but held back the sarcastic comment. She might've just been sexually assaulted but she was still _Bianca_, and she always had to handle things herself. So instead of answering he shrugged.

"Are you alright?"

"You broke up with me," she snapped suddenly and Adam took a step back. Where had _that _come from? "So why do you care if I'm alright or not?" she turned her teary brown eyed gaze onto him. Her gaze practically screamed 'tell me you still care about me! Tell me you still love me!' but he also remembered watching Owen shove her so hard she fell down a flight of stairs. He glanced down, not able to take the intensity of her gaze.

"Can't a friend worry about another friend?" he whispered, peeking at her from the corner of his eye. He pretended like he didn't see the crushed look on her face a millisecond before it was replaced with a sneer.

"No." with that she started back up the stairs, leaving Adam to wonder if he had just made the worst mistake of his life.

_Did some things you can't speak of. But tonight you live it all again. You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now, if only you had seen what you know now then._

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:**

I don't –sob- own Degrassi D: and I don't own the lyrics either; they belong to the song Innocent by Taylor Swift.

**Author's Notes:**

This is a sequel to the previous little song-fic called 'I Got You'. To clear up some confusion I'm figuring I should probably tell you guys the ages. In this one Adam is still a sophomore and Bianca is still a junior. The reason Adam's at prom is because he was asked by an upperclassman cough_Fiona_cough.

If there's any requests you guys have don't be afraid to put it in a Review or send it in a PM(: If there's specific lyrics or a plotline you want you can add that as well (: I'm thinking of making the next little song-fic/one-shot pure fluff since most of it has been angst(:

Love Me?

V


End file.
